He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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