Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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