Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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