I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
