I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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