don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
