Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
