Swine flu. Run for my life!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
