I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
