Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Randomize