is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
