is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
