finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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