is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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