I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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