If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize