when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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