put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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