If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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