Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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