Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
