i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
