I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
