your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
