weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
