I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
