Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
