I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
