I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
These tits shall not be calmed
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