hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
