she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
