I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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