3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
