Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
