They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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