Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
