So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
