got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
