That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
