i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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