the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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