Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
