If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
My dick has a subreddit
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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