DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
