We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
