Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
