I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
