So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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