I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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