it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
