I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
