Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
