what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
