All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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