he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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