There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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