Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
