If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
