god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
